He also sees his own condition as emblematic of life between the already and the not yet, where we are washed in the waters of baptism (1 Corinthians 6), but living in what can be the painful tension of embodied life touched by the fall, waiting for the redemption of those bodies spoken of in Romans 8. For him, it is not just the prohibitions, which he believes are clear, but also the larger story of creation, fall, and redemption he finds himself in, and the place given to marriage in that story. In the original work, he explains why, not seeing a change in orientation likely for him, he chooses celibacy. He describes the peculiar sense of loneliness and shame he believes many LGBT people feel, even while seeking, and often finding community. He learned the importance of having people in his life wherever he went who knew his story and were willing to share his journey. He narrates how hard it was to “come out” to a trusted professor who responded with grace, and connected him with a counselor who began to help him sort out what to do with this. When Washed and Waiting was first published in 2010, it gained a great deal of notice for its honest and painful narrative of Hill’s growing awareness that there was something “different” about him, even as he also became aware of God’s call to ministry.

He admitted that he was attracted to men and self identified as gay in orientation, but that as a Christian he was committed to a celibate life, the only option he believed open to him. At a time when people on one side were simply advocating against same-sex intimacy, and for ministries helping gay and lesbian persons develop opposite sex attractions, and those on the other side were affirming LGBT persons in their identities and choices of who they would love, Hill took a different stance. Wesley Hill was one of the first to articulate a distinctive perspective in discussions on homosexuality and Christian faith. Summary: An updated narrative of a celibate, gay Christian man, including thoughts about the recovery of the place of celibacy and the importance of spiritual friendship. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2016 (originally published in 2010). Washed and Waiting (revised with new Afterword), Wesley Hill.

Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill